Cheesy spinach dip

What's all THIS crap??

This is me reaching fairly randomly into the refrigerator when I realized I had a huge bag of spinach I'd forgotten about, that needed to be used Real Soon. Like, NOW. Told my sister to bring home some chips and I got to work.

WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I DO NOT GUARANTEE RESULTS, NOR DO I PROMISE GOOD HEALTH

Tablespoon of butter, tablespoon of flour over low heat, cook a few minutes. I added about 1/4 cup of white wine, which in this case turned out to be Riesling, and even I know that's not a good idea. Riesling's too sweet, you want a dry wine, maybe a Chardonnay or a Sauvignon Blanc. It's what I had, and instead of skipping the wine altogether, I went with it. I do what I WANT.
Now, this would have been fine and dandy like so, maybe more wine, but noooooooo. I went a weird direction and added..... MILK. To an acidic wine. I believe in my heart of hearts that I knew somewhere in my subconscious that this was a Really Bad Idea, but, like I said, I do what I WANT. Can you guess what happened? Curdling happened. I almost gave up on it then, but I had faith in this little abomination I was creating and I kept simmering until it became smooth and creamy again. Believe it or not.
I added a bit more milk (probably ended up using about 3/4 of a cup total, give or take).
Then I started throwing stuff in, not all at once, but little by little. CHEESES. Shredded Monterey/Colby blend, bleu cheese crumbles, grated parmesan. Dashes of white pepper, parsley. Stir frequently, and while that's simmering and melting and coming together....

In a large pan heat some olive oil, add super finely chopped onion and garlic and saute over high heat until translucent. I added the huge amounts of spinach and covered, stirring occasionally until wilted. Drained it as best as I could and added it to my cheesy mess up there.
I simmered that for a while until it was nice and thick and cheesy and as scrumptious-looking as you can allow yourself to imagine it to be after you've seen it in its curdled stage. Removed from heat and added a couple of tablespoons of cream cheese, stirred until well incorporated, and voila.


It turned out to be delicious and everybody present loved the hell out of it and now it's completely gone, but that's not the point.

I still don't recommend trying this out for yourself.

(Aside from eating it with chips, I poured some over rice and it was awesome. Maybe making it thicker and baking it inside croissants would be fantastic. I could also see it over seared salmon. But seriously, don't make this at home)

41 lbs of turkey

That's almost as much as my daughter weighs.

I may or may not have 3 whole turkeys in my refrigerator, which may or may not need to be cooked TODAY.

And by "may or may not have," I mean I totally do.

I've never cooked a whole turkey before. This will be a learning experience, and hopefully Not At All a failed experiment.

If you don't hear from these turkeys again, it was the latter.

I think I'll need help on this one. I will be armed to the eardrums with Alice in Chains, Faith No More, Father Peter and maybe some Megadeth.

EDIT--After unloading one of these babies on my mother-in-law, it is safe to say that one of the turkeys was a definite success and the other one.... maybe not so much. Remains to be seen, since we annihilated that first one and no one had any hunger left for the second one. It's cooked, I'm not pleased with the visual results, tomorrow we'll see how it turned out.

Many, many pictures to go through, I will eventually post recipes and details.

EDIT v2.0--OR NOT. Guh, I'm such a slacker.