Pineapple, cranberry & coconut cupcakes, w/malted coconut buttercream frosting

A few days ago I decided I needed to bake something with cranberries and coconut, and there are certain desires humans were not meant to fight.

There really isn't much to these cupcakes. The basic recipe is really meant to be for a small, simple, fluffy cake; I just didn't feel like making a CAKE.

1/2 cup self-rising flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 stick (1/4 cup) butter, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup shredded coconut
Drained crushed pineapple, as needed
Dried cranberries, as needed

Preheat oven to 375F.
Mix together the flour, sugar, eggs, butter and vanilla until well combined, fold in coconut.
No, really, that's it.
I was making those tiny little mini cupcakes you can eat in one bite, with the tiny little mini cupcake paper liners that are a pain in the ass to pull apart. At the bottom of the liners I put about 1/4 tsp of the pineapple and a couple of cranberries; spooned batter on top and baked for about 15 minutes.
No. Really. That's IT.

I made that batch a couple of nights ago as a test run, didn't get around to making the frosting until tonight, and of course by now all the cupcakes are gone. So I don't really know how this frosting will work with the cupcakes, but I can't imagine the results being atrocious.

Malted Coconut Buttercream Frosting
1 stick (1/4 cup) butter, room temperature
1/4 cup vegetable shortening (Buttercream frosting is the ONLY time I condone the -partial- use of this abomination. Ugh)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Almond extract (JUST a few drops)
2 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar, sifted
1 1/2 Tbsp powdered malted milk
1 1/2 Tbsp coconut milk

Cream together butter, shortening and extracts. Add the sugar gradually, 1/2 cup at a time or so, continuing to beat in between additions. I add the sugar and stir with a spatula before turning the mixer back on, because I like not being covered in confectioner's sugar. Add the malted milk and continue mixing--I may or may not have used more than 1 1/2 tablespoons because I always say I'm going to start measuring stuff for the Very Purpose of this blog, then I start measuring, halfway through the process decide I need more of an ingredient, and then I just toss some more in, so let's call it 1 1/2 tablespoons and be done with it. This mixture will look a bit dry, and that's okay. Once everything's combined, add the coconut milk and then beat for a while until it's creamy.

So now I have a container full of this stuff in the fridge, and I won't get to know if it makes or breaks the cupcakes until I make The Real Batch tomorrow for this road trip with Ms. Lisa.

Tastes pretty good by itself, though.

Tiramisu

Abominations and experimenting aside, most people agree that I'm a rather good cook. I agree that I am ridiculously vain, and therefore concur.

This right here, though? This is the one thing I go out of my way to brag about. My tiramisu may possibly be the best thing in the history of ever.

Am I able to follow my own recipe to the letter? Of course not. There were factors outside of my control, see.

As I mentioned in the previous post, my sister was in charge of doing the groceries for her own demands. She went to the store quite late last night, and no liquor stores were open at that hour. We don't have any Kahlúa in the house. Today is Sunday. All of these things are bad.
The in-laws have Kahlúa. That's good!
But that would be stealing, and that's bad.
I'm pretty sure we'd pay it back. That's good!
Then I could make my tiramisu, and that's REALLY good, but I'm home without a car and J didn't go borrow the Kahlúa from his folks'. (That's bad)

So we make a non-alcoholic version. That's meh. I had something like a third of a shot of raspberry schnapps, and might as well get rid of it, right?

Okay, then.

2 cups strong coffee (or espresso) (I used the Mexican coffee from earlier today)
2 tbsp. sugar (skipped this, since my coffee had sugar already)
6 tbsp. Kahlúa (... ... ...)

Mix well, set aside to cool.


2 1/2 pkgs lady fingers
3 large eggs, room temperature, separated
1/2 pint heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla*
8 oz. mascarpone cheese
1 oz. Cream cheese

*I've been known to use almond extract, raspberry extract, or 2 tsp Amaretto, instead

In a non-plastic bowl, beat egg whites until hard peaks form. Set aside.

In a non-plastic bowl, beat whipping cream until soft peaks form. Set aside. (Make sure that both the bowl and the mixer attachments are chilled for this. I stuck them in the freezer a few minutes before mixing).

In a separate container, beat egg yolks, sugar & vanilla for about 2-3 minutes until pale-yellow & creamy. Add mascarpone and cream cheese (softened) and mix until well combined, about 3-5 minutes. The addition of cream cheese serves the purpose of giving depth, not flavor or texture. Just go with it.

Gently fold the egg whites into the mascarpone mixture, and once combined, fold about half the whipped cream as well. Put the other half in the fridge for later.

You'll need a pretty big container, or several. Line the bottom with the lady fingers dipped in the coffee mix (don't soak them too long or they'll fall apart, but make sure they ARE properly soaked), layer mascarpone mix on top. Repeat until you run out of room, finishing with a mascarpone layer. Cover and refrigerate for about 2-3 hours. Spread the rest of the whipped cream on top and sprinkle with cocoa powder.



Ack, midnight kitchen lighting won't allow for a good shot.

I don't have cocoa powder, but I do have about 3lbs of Easter chocolate in the fridge......... poor bunny never saw it coming.

Rice balls and cupcakes

I love onigiri. In the simplest of forms it is easy to make, minimum involvement required, yummy, and cheeeeeeeap.

My pantry is in a sorry state at the moment, but I always have something like 5 varieties of rice on hand and my last can of tuna was some roasted-garlic thing I bought a few weeks ago on a whim.

Plain, steamed white rice, a little bit of mayo in the tuna and nothing more (the Daughter is picky about tuna)... I didn't even use any seaweed today, although I did put Tabasco sauce and pickled ginger in mine.

And because I honestly just don't feel like doing anything complicated today, I finally used that box of Cherry Chip cake mix that's been in my pantry forever, to make it into mini cupcakes. I have some buttercream icing in my fridge from the last time I had to make some (same recipe as here), I'm probably going to put some malt powder and food coloring in it and call it a day.



UPDATE - Throw in a frozen blueberry on top of that icing, baby. Oh, yeah.

Caramel popcorn

It's been a very long time since we've bought microwaveable popcorn. I used nothing but the minimum amount of vegetable oil to pop the corn.

A couple of tablespoons of brown sugar and a nice sprinkle of sea salt over low heat, couple of tablespoons of butter, once that's well dissolved about a tablespoon of milk. I may have added a bit more to thin it out.
And in hindsight it may or may not have been better to let the freshly popped corn cool off just a little before assaulting it with melt-your-skin Hot Caramel, but it was ai'ight. Poured caramel in a thin stream while stirring a bit, and when all the caramel was in I shook the hell of the lidded pot for a while. Let it sit, shake some more. The pot was still very hot, so then I moved them to a large bowl and moved them around until they were cooled off, because I wasn't looking for popcorn balls.

Tasty.

Pumpkin citrus cake

All this pumpkin's gotta get used somehow.

Streusel center
All measurements here are approximate
4 Tbsp all-purpose flour
4-5 Tbsp white sugar
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
Chopped pecans
3 Tbsp cold butter

Mix all dry ingredients, crumble butter in, set aside.

Pumpkin Citrus Cake
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups white sugar
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
Dash of ground nutmeg and clove
2 eggs, room temperature
1 1/3 cup pumpkin puree
1/3 cup melted butter
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp orange extract
Dried cranberries (Aldi sells these fantastic orange-flavored cranberries that were PERFECT for this)

Preheat oven to 350F

Soak dried cranberries in Very Hot Water, just enough to cover them. Leave 'em soaking while you make the cake.

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, spices and salt together. Add pumpkin, butter, extracts and eggs - beat until smooth.

Drain cranberries (save the water) and place at the bottom of a well-greased pan. I used a Bundt pan, but there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to make an upside down cake with other fruits, maybe some candied orange peel or ginger (I love me some ginger), whatever you're into.

Pour about 2/3-3/4 of the batter on top of the cranberries--that streusel stuff has a way of going for the bottom of the pan like it's a race. Sprinkle the streusel center over this batter and spoon the remaining batter carefully over the streusel.

Bake for, I kid you not, about an hour. I've been experimenting with this recipe a few times and I'm yet to find an exact time. Baking it at 375F turns the edges too brown too quickly before the rest of the cake is done, and it's also a little hard to gauge because the streusel center stays rather moist and sticking a knife in to check for doneness is a bit misleading because of this. Whooooo, that was a busy sentence. If you make this, keep an eye on it after 45-50 minutes, make sure it's not getting burned, do the knife/toothpick thing if you must--some sticky on the knife is okay (the streusel), as long as you're not seeing blatant raw batter. And if you figure out a more accurate baking time, LET ME KNOWWWWWW, PLZ, THX.

It doesn't help that my oven's temperature likes to fluctuate any way it pleases.

Whenever it finally does come out of the oven, cool for about 20 minutes and flip onto a serving plate.

Glaze
(approximate)
3/4 cup confectioner's sugar
1/4 tsp orange extract
Water from the cranberry-soaking business earlier--strain any stray seeds

Combine sugar and orange, and then add the water, a few drops at a time, until easily stirred. You don't want it too runny, but not quite spread-like consistency. It's a GLAZE, you know what that's supposed to look like, right? Drizzle it over cake while the cake is still warm so it drips nicely.


Once the cake is cooled COMPLETELY, sprinkle about 1/2 a teaspoon of confectioner's sugar over it using a fine mesh sieve. This is just for added pretty (and added sugar), it's technically completely unnecessary.

This cake is awesome with coffee.

White chocolate cake with raspberry/almond filling and marshmallow fondant

For my 6th wedding anniversary this year I decided I had to recreate our actual wedding cake - Something white chocolate something something, raspberry/amaretto filling, something else.
That sounded about right and easy enough, but I also decided I wanted to experiment with fondant.
It was going to be glorious and I had big plans for this fondant involving black food coloring and skull sculpting (my anniversary's on Halloween), but I used liquid food coloring and at best that fondant turned a dark slate GRAY that wasn't doing the trick.
I ended up going in a completely different direction, white on white, using some fondant cutters my sister had acquired on a whim.


It turned out pretty, I guess. Not what I wanted or was going for visually, but flavor-wise it was actually pretty awesome. Unfortunately, my skull was not very photogenic.

Now, I don't drink anymore. Like, AT ALL. Amaretto was out of the question, but that doesn't mean YOU can't use Amaretto. Also, fair warning, this is The Most Elaborate thing I've EVER done in my kitchen.

White Chocolate Cake
1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
~1/2 cup white chocolate chips
3/4 cup half & half (or milk, if you must)
1/3 cup butter, softened (if you plan on using margerine or shortening, get the hell out of my blog)
1 cup white sugar
1 tsp almond extract
4 eggs, separate whites from yolks (room temperature)

When baking cakes, I tend to add just a tiny bit more butter and sugar. It's a moisture issue. Don't add too much, or leave it alone altogether if you don't know what you're doing.

Preheat oven to 350F.

Sift together flour, baking powder and salt, set aside.

Melt chocolate and 1/4 cup of H&H--you can use a double boiler or the microwave, in 30 second intervals, until fully melted and smooth. As a general rule I sneer in the direction of microwaves, but honestly, it's just more effective at the white chocolate melting thing. Add remaining H&H, set aside to cool.

Beat butter on medium-high until softened and a little fluffy. Add sugar and almond extract, mix well.

Add egg yolks, one at a time, beating until combined after each one.

"I love dipshit cooking instructions like "add eggs, one at a time." Alright. How many hands do YOU have?"

Alternate adding the flour mix and the melted chocolate, beating on medium-low after each addition until just combined.

Beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form, and fold into cake batter.

Bake for 25-30 minutes or so, give or take.

***

I baked this in 2 8in. round pans, cooled them for 10 min. on a rack, then unmolded them to level them with a serrated knife. Once completely cooled, to prevent the raspberry filling from seeping and bleeding, I covered the top of what would be the bottom half and the bottom of the top half with a thin layer of buttercream icing, and made a sort of... what, well? Barrier? I'm sure there's an actual name for this--a border of the same icing all around the outer edge, to keep said filling from spilling out the sides once you put the other half of the cake on top. Does that even make sense? I should have taken pictures of the process.

Spoon filling inside "well," place other half of cake on top, and spread the entire thing with buttercream frosting--just a thin layer. This is a crumb layer and it doesn't have to look perfect, the name should give you a clue as to how it will look. Refrigerate for about an hour, and then you can give it a healthier layer of buttercream.

You could decorate the cake at this point, most people prefer buttercream anyway. If you want to continue on to fondant, let this thicker layer of buttercream set in the refrigerator for about an hour as well.

Raspberry filling
6 oz fresh raspberries (average store package)
2/3 cup water (I used juuuuust under this measurement, because I was going to add... almond extract. Or Amaretto, if that's your thing)
1 Tbsp lemon juice (I also used a pinch grated lemon peel, orange peel would be nice, too)
3 Tbsp cornstarch dissolved in 1/2 cup of water

Combine raspberries, water, sugar, and lemon juice/peel in a saucepan and bring to a boil; simmer for about 15-20 minutes.

Remove from heat, strain, and return to simmering.

Whisk the dissolved cornstarch into the mixture, bring back to a boil, and simmer for another 5 or so minutes, stirring every now and then.

Remove from heat, add almond extract, and cool completely, giving it an occasional stir until it thickens to an almost jelly-like consistency. You'll probably have more than you need, but that's a good thing.

Buttercream frosting
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup vegetable shortening.... look, I know what I said, but shortening helps buttercream stand higher temperatures, and besides, this frosting was only going to be used as a primer here. Stop looking at me that way.
1/2 tsp almond extract (you can use vanilla, but I wanted to stay with the theme)
2 cups sifted confectioner's sugar
1 Tbsp milk

Cream butter and abomination together, add almond extract, and gradually add the sugar, about 1/2 cup at a time. It's okay if it looks a little on the dry side--once it's all mixed, add the milk and then beat until fluffy. Keep it covered with a damp towel until use or it will crust.

And then.......... the fondant.

Tara has a FANTASTIC tutorial on this here, complete with recipe, pictures and techniques.

I've never actually tasted regular rolled fondant, but I know it's got a bad rep. This stuff is actually kind of delicious, if a little sweet. I added almond extract here again--honestly, you'd think it would be overpowering at some point, but it really wasn't.

It's also worth noting that I made the fondant the night before, because they say it's easier to work with if it's had time to rest. I have to say this was one of the most FUN substances I've ever worked with in the kitchen. This recipe made more than twice what I needed to cover this cake, by the way.



Enjoy.